woman on fire

Why Fantasizing Is Even Hotter than You Think

antasies Fthat seem like they should have a “boom chicka wow wow” soundtrack can be fun, and the ones that are inspired by books about cute, rich, tortured bachelor doms can raise the pulse or bring a blush to our cheeks.

But what about the fantasies we’re really embarrassed about? You know the ones I mean. The ones we don’t even allow ourselves to think about anymore.

What did you want to be when you grew up? Yeah, it might have sounded untenable and ridiculous, like my son’s onetime fantasy of being a “teacher policeman paleontologist firefighter,” but somewhere in there were the kernels of the man I see him becoming: a mentor, a defender of what he feels is right, a fierce curiosity about social and cultural forensics, and a talent and willingness to sniff out and—mostly—help extinguish emotional flame-outs.

I wanted to be a waitress. And indeed, today, being of service is one of the most important commitments I make to the world and myself. I wanted to be an actress, and today I am a public speaker and a passionate communicator. I wanted to be a writer—and I am, right this second, doing just that.

What were your fantasies? Do you see them expressed in the choices you make and actions you choose, in the life you have created for yourself today?

Did you dismiss them as silly or improbable or embarrassing or out of your reach? Even worse, did you let someone else make fun of them or dissuade you?

“You want to do WHAT with me dressed like WHO????”

Listen, instead of fantasies, call them dreams. Call them visualizations. Call them manifesting. Hell, call them reinventing yourself. Because letting yourself paint mind pictures of all the fun and beauty you can imagine is both childlike and mature, and it’s very important play.

You can’t create what you can’t imagine. You can’t have what you don’t know exists. You can’t get something you’ve never experienced unless you do something different (or differently) than you’ve ever done before.

So dream on. Get out the big box of crayons, the one with the built-in sharpener, and use every single shade that draws you. Color wayyyy outside the lines. Go big. No, bigger.

Before you know it, your fantasies won’t just be hot. You’ll be positively on fire.

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