Photo by zen Sutherland: https://www.flickr.com/photos/zen/241745451/sizes/o/

I Dunno

Me: What do you wanna do?
Other Person: I dunno, what do you wanna do?
Me: I dunno, what do you wanna do?

(Continue until someone’s head explodes.)

This inane and unproductive dialogue marked much of my teenage years. I’m embarrassed to admit that more sophisticated versions persisted well into my adulthood.

Did I really not know what I wanted to do? Was the other person/BFF/date/boyfriend/partner truly just as lost and clueless?

The answer is no, and no.

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paper hearts with notes, by hefin owen, maggie mcreynolds blog

Who’s Really Disappointing You?

This Valentine’s Day was just about my best Valentine’s Day ever. And it took me almost all day to figure out why: through circumstance, both accidental and planned, there was no one around but me.

Which also meant that there was no one to disappoint me, but me.

I had no expectation of cards, candies, flowers, phone calls, baubles, or beads.

I had no expectation of being invited to lunch, treated to dinner, swept off my feet, or taken to bed.

And so, with others and myself released from the burden of my own expectations, I was free to do whatever I wanted with the day.

I wanted breakfast in bed. This meant getting up to make it, but once I did, I returned happily to a nest of blankets and pillows, and ate it while reading.

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