“…I don’t hear a word they’re sayin’. Only the echoes of my mind.”
For many of us, this song lyric is far more true than we’d like to admit.
It’s not because we’re shallow or uncaring. Well, most of us, anyway. What we are is distracted, defensive, and, ultimately, disconnected. It keeps us from being fully present in most of the conversations we have. It keeps from hearing what the other person actually said. Worst of all, it puts a wedge between us and those most important to us: partners, family, friends, and professional peers.
Distraction: your child is trying to tell you about something really exciting that happened at school, but you’re trying to get dinner on the table and thinking about a presentation you have to give tomorrow at work. So you hear something approximately like, “…so then Keisha said blah blah blah and I tried to blah blah blah but Mrs. Rothstein told us we had to blah blah blah and it made us feel really blah blah blah….”
Results: you didn’t just miss what your kid was saying, you missed an opportunity to learn something, to see some of the treasure unique to her glinting inside her.